Monday, June 15, 2015

new year, new hate II - The 2014 Review Google Didn't Want You To See...

I had to sit this one out for a while (finished it back in 2013 and ive been warned not to publish it or I may get sued, arrested, etc -- Mostly by the fascist corporate buttholes (the same ones who provide me this service). I do appologize for the long wait, minus the 6 month hiatus i recently returned from which of course was explained in my 2 page "dog-ate-my-homework" excuse yesterday.

Well, I finally got this approved (if you call malliciously publishing in the middle of the night "approved") but be warned, it may end being a dead link within the hour, so read fast!



Happy New Year??   Merry Christmas???
Hated You Year!!!!   Scary Bitch-List!!!!

I hated 2014, many of you people pissed me off last year. And my bitch-list has just gotten larger than ever before. However, this doesn't mean we can't take some time out of our day to appreciate the little things!! So I will chop this into sections dedicated to the new year.

About the Hatred of Mankind

Keeping in tradition with the site, and hating everything and everyone, as we do.. and hopefully I will help others to hate me as much as I hate them, and even better spread the joy of hatred to others. When was the last time you ran an old lady over crossing the street? Or helped your neighbor with the groceries by throwing them down the stairs and standing at the top, bellowing down "I'll bet you'll think twice before banging on my wall when my music is too loud you son of a bitch!".  There is so much you can do, but lets not forget the drive behind hatred for most people.

Hatred of Animals

I am talking of course about ugliness. So I dedicate this post to the ugliest animal in the world (next to you, the second ugliest I guess), the blob fish. Which I heard the other day was endangered. It basically looks like that crumb guy from "Aaahh!!! Real Monsters" that used to air on Nickelodeon. If you didn't exist back then, you shouldn't be reading this anyways. Go play digimon/bakugon (what is scarier, the scam itself or the fact that I remember how to spell it?) or whatever you kids play.  Anyhow, here's a good side-by-side of the two, except for being able to pull out his eyes and the arms+armpit hair, they could be twins right? Judge for yourself.

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Hatred of People

Okay, ugly people sure.... but Beautiful people are worse. They are popping up all over the place!  I hate them so much that I decided that I am not going to write any more about them, so this is it, tuff titty said the kitty!

Hatred of Inanimate Objects

How many times did I throw the keyboard, mouse, or remote control (Wii) out the window last year?? Zero! It was one of my new years resolutions not to gang up on inanimate objects. I have taken up pillow spanking instead, even if it
seems to be a bit insane, its a much better example for my kids.  I tried to quit smoking, but the inanimate cigarette always seems to win somehow. So now we fight, I light, and then 1/4 of the way through, I stop, cut off it's head, and put it away.  I'm not a murderer or anything, its inanimate!!

Hatred of Computers

Speaking of inanimate objects, well, inorganic anyways... the computer can be the source of great pain for me as the errors on my hard drive, you know, the one my son just ran a bulk tape eraser across, just loses all my 3 years worth of work. Backup you say?  I did, but it seems like whenever I lose things, the backups I made are either incomplete from losing a disc, or on some site that got locked up due to inactivity, so I have myself only to blame of course I don't take it because I am a big puss like that.This year, I have a 9-tape digital media backup server, but alas, I don't have SCSI LVD (Low Voltage Differential, for those who don't know) on this machine so it's useless. Why put a network interface on such a device if you cant use it to upload to the tape, no, just for reading stats, no wonder the technology went obsolete, which is why I have this thing in the first place.  The funny thing is I have a server that has LVD, but only as a hot plug drive feature, no way to connect to the device even if I had a cable (its some weird alien LVD plug that only seems to be on the drives I have). And my new computer room in the attic was a bad choice, it is now -4 degrees F in there, i chose the site because i was afraid of overheating.... man be careful what you wish for...

Hatred of (Your) Kids

I love my kids, but I have to say that kids are like farts (in being that you only like your own). And I love my own far... er kids.  I can't stand being in line behind baby junior sonofabitch making faces at me, while i'm trying to look at his mom's ass... wait what?  Anyways, being the gentleman that I am, I decided
"Don't look at my mom's ass, fucker!!"
to smile back and that got me a 'hey dont look at my mom that way' comment in which I proceeded to bash his head in with the nearest stack of cans on sale. A picture of big baked beans on one side, junior's blood on the other. What a way to end the day, and right afterwards, a nice cigarette followed by a prank call to mother dearest.

What happened to...

At the beginning of last year I think I spent a lot of time wondering what happened to my new years resolutions from the previous year. This time I'll write them down. First, I must stop hating everyone and everything. Second, I must actually do it, and third, I must not pretend to have done it or to justify not doing it with some lame excuse. Even if nobody ever reads this, it makes me feel better just having written it in a public place, which is why I write this stupid blog to begin with. (what you thought it was for you?? hah! I would never invest that kind of time in someone else, ever heard of someone who loves to listen to the sound of their own voice? Well I love to listen to the sound of my own typing, very very therapeutic).

And Remember!!!

In the words of the great Jon Bon Jovi: "Bad Venison is One-Eyed Meat!"


* This post was written on January 1, 2014, but was drafted until January 24, 2014 when it was published to the archive. This post is considered to be inappropriate for audiences under the age of 18 or who are easily offended by lewd, extreme, violent, or otherwise publicly offensive behaviour.


Last post of the Year, Proof That The World Is In Fact Heartless

I declare today, the last day of the year (June 15, 2015)
That's right, 6/15/15
Because 666 is the mark of the beast.. and...
Month = 6, Day = 15 (1+5 = 6), Year = 15 (1 + 5 = 6)
Century is 20, which is mentioned twice (20 x 2 = 40 + mentioned twice = 42, the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.)

:pow: There, that's my logic and without further ado...

I know I throw the word 'hate' around like a wet towel in this blog since it's inception two years ago-ish, and I have little to back up that claim that I am right, even if I actually am. I now have proof that people in general suck. Drum roll please...

#1 Rich Assholes really are Rich Assholes, Scientifically Proven in 2014!!!

What better way to use science and psychology studies than to prove what we already know to be true? That's right, we now can PROVE that rich people are assholes beyond a shadow of a doubt. The proof comes from a study at the University of California's Psychology Department in Berkeley, CA.  Ironically, the same University where many of today's young assholes now graduate from being undergraduate to professional.

#2 Nobody ever follows up on new year's resolutions, except during new year's day and lent.

#3 Wikipedia is a group of people dedicated to promoting themselves to the history books in such a way that their motives, character, and qualifications cannot be questioned by even the best justice system in the world.

#4 When you see website addresses and wireless camera crop marks on freight train cars, campsite rocks in the mountains, picnic tables, on manhole covers, etc.... and the worst part is, that is not weird or uncommon.

#5 Phone booths rare today as pulse dialing was 10 years ago, pulse dialing is as rare today as 7-digit phone numbers. 7 digit phone numbers are as rare today as 4-digit phone numbers, (...goes on to compare Phones that actually are connected to both parties physically, that can be struck by lightning and possibly kill someone, etc, etc --- morse code anyone?)

#6 A single EMP over Minnesota would put us ALL right back in the stone age (and yes, iran, you are right for detonating your test bombs in the air, and you are lucky that nobody is catching on to the fact they your doing it on purpose!)

#7  You feel guilty for smoking in your car when parked near a hospital or school.

#8  The National Weather Service now gives cutesy nick names ALL storms, instead of the 'L0NNN' format (R014, for example is now known as "Thunder Storm Abby Irth Heytoeue")

#9  There are more akward rant-and-rave-to-apparently-nobody blogs than there are legitimate websites online. IRC is now run by kiddie porn traders, perl is "competing' with python, and perl6 is a rotten prank by Larry Wall who wanted to play the biggest CIS joke ever before he bit the big one.

#10 New Years Day does not fall on the right day, unless you live in china