Thursday, May 30, 2013

Spam, it's not just heat meat...

Once upon a time, somebody with a lot of by-product that tasted good when thrown in a blender wanted to make some money. Thus, spam was born.  Once upon a time a man with 5 computers and some minor programming skills + knowledge of POP3, SMTP, Java and HTML wanted to make some money too. Thus, spam was reborn. Ten years later, that same man didn't feel like being rich and wanted to be super-rich instead, this is how web spam bots came about. They are the embodiment of 20 years worth of deceit, misuse of knowledge, and bad meat by-products combined into one terrifying and annoying ball of crap. If only I had a gun, I would go out and find that person who started it all, put the gun in his hand, and force him to shoot me because I can't take it anymore!  I would be much happier if I died knowing he would go through the same hell I did by seeing the fruits of his labor on every spam filter, recaptcha, and "threat probability of 97.5%" assessment out there.  When was the last time you signed up for a service, which is bullshit to begin with, to find that you not only have to tell them what this distorted image of letters and numbers says but that you also have to go, check you e-mail inbox, but you know it's not in there because the email provider's spam filter put it in your junk e-mail folder. If you are lucky enough and have the self control not to empty your junk mail when you first arrive because your provider says you are out of space then you might just be able to click on that confirmation url they sent you OH WAIT---- you cant, because now you are being told that "this link is not trusted so it wont be automatically opened" ... thats right, you have to RE-OPEN your mail in another tab or window, and THEN click on it... that is if your ad-blocking software lets you. And if it does, then most likely when  you open that new window with the provided link, it wont open because that goddamn popup blocker is killing it or not letting it open in the first place.... sure sure, so go back and disable ALL of that crap, finally.. wait what was I doing?????

...oh yeah I was confirming something, what? Can't remember.. oh yeah that service.. I was signing up for it to complain about some spam that came from them... pretty ironic isn't it??  And now that's all done, you find the next day you have about 150 extra junk mails in your inbox beause the spamfilter cant do it's job, from that company you just complained to. That's right---all you did by complaining was open yourself up as a target by saying "Hello, i'm a valid and human e-mail address, please send me ads because I might be stupid enough to buy your products that are probably 200x overpriced!!".

Did you notice that many sites today use a MATH question to verify you are not a computer??? That is so unbeliveably retarded... Ask yourslef, what are computers best at??? ....That's right MATH... and if a script can't decode the question:

what is one plus one minus 2?

...then the script was most likely written by ______________.

A) Bill Gates
B) Some Guy In His Mother's Basement
C) A Retarded Sperm Whale on Ritalin
D) All of the Above

Of course the correct answer would be D... it's a no-brainer (no pun intended - by the way did you know that 'brainer' and/or 'no-brainer' are not actually real words, so excuse me for using it here, I promise it's the last time... no brainer.. oops I lied!).

I am sorry but that is got to be the century's worst joke! These people actually get paid to come up with this stuff? And it passes review?? I hope these people are not also in charge of national security. Actually they probably are... sadly enough I live in the worst country in the world (USA does not stand for united states of America, it stands for Unbelievably Stupid Assholes and the capitalization is not accidental!).......

......It's a sad world, how can anyone live in it?   If someone from 100 years ago were suddenly subjugated into this world, they would most definitely kill themselves by gouging out their eyes and shoving pencils in their ears before smashing their head against a wall to kill their brain.   Please tell me our progress over the next hundred years is not going to be like this.... please!

---- this is a friendly reminder to all internet citezens --- please! don't take this seriously... take it VERY SERIOUSLY!!!! BAH!!

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